Thursday Oct. 6th was the morning of my mammogram and handheld-ultrasound appointments, I drove myself to the radiology center in Modesto. Didn't even think about inviting someone to come with me, I was a little concerned but not worried.
First up with the mammogram, pretty much what you would expect. My technician was an older women so she was fairly gentle. ( we have all heard of those stories of breasts being smooshed into a pancake.=)
Next up: handheld ultrasound....not checking to see if it was a boy or a girl this time. (smile) It is used to determine if the abnormality is solid or fluid- filled (such as a benign cyst).
The technician (again same older women) squirted warm gel on my left breast. Then she gently guided the a wand over my breast tissue to produce images on a nearby screen. Last time I had an ultrasound was to find out if Mason was going to be a boy or girl...Happy times!
Then the technician became very quiet...not a good sign....She then said...just a minute I want to check with the doctor to see if He would like more pictures...okay....butterflies in tummy. (word to Technicians in the future...please don't do that)
Do I have something to worry about? A few minutes later she returned and proceeded to squirt more gel on my left breast. She then had me get dressed....thank you....How I hate hospital gowns.
The MRI: After I dressed they had me go down to the first floor for a Breast MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) It is useful in gathering more information about an area in the breast that is suspicious, check the rest of the breast for other possible cancers, as well as evaluates the other breast. It involved no radiation.
From there I dressed and headed home, they told me that my Doctor would contact me...okay great.
The Breast Cancer Diagnosis- Though it may be hard, do NOT tell someone that you have breast cancer over the phone! I happen to be at the Nut Company the following day....when I received a phone call from Stanford. The receptionist from my Doctors office called.
Her words- We got your test back, did they talked to you at the radiology office? Well, you have cancer. We need you to come in for a for a biopsy.
Just like that...you have cancer. Great....pretty much ruined my day. I was pretty much numb the rest of the day.
The next day we went to Stanford...where the first thing my Doctor did was to apologize and I could tell he was so sad that I received that information that way.
He then explain that they would not know for sure until after they do some more imaging and a biopsy. Okay, so holding out for a chance that they could be wrong and it is scar tissues or something. Hope.
He arranged for us to meet with the top Breast surgeon at Stanford. (in his opinion) We got into see her that day.
The Biopsy-
If you have a fear of needles, look AWAY....I swear the needle was two feet long. The procedure took about 30 minutes. Just a small cut, a little blood and a couple of pinches...popping sounds with a little pressure. The needle was placed in the small cut, the doctor using an ultrasound with a wand guided to the tissues she needs for the test.
All done...now for another wait...and of course it was Friday! So Monday was the big day....Cancer or not cancer.
Well, you know the answer -cancer
Monday Oct 10- will go down in history as the worst day of my life...next to the death of my parents and Getting the new that Dan had cancer...(he has been cancer free for 5 years, Happy Day!)
Over that weekend I developed a worsting pain in my back. Which lead to them admitting me to the hospital.... and from there it was a blur of MRI, bone scan, blood test, and more and more and more.
So, here we are on this journey.
I plan to share my journey from time to time ....to help friends and family keep updated....I like the idea of telling my story once and move on.
I don't plan on sharing every thing about every part of this cancer that has {Left the girls and entered my body=) Just parts that I think may be helpful, interesting etc.
Things have been moving very quickly...many thanks to the doctors at Stanford....what a team I have- (I think around 12)
Dan and I are doing as well as can be expected.
I'm not in much pain right now..(thank you morphine) but I do feel tired & cloudy brain!
Our Faith (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints) has given us great comfort. We both feel calm and at peace...Our job right now is just to fight this with all the Faith we can mustard up! (mustard seed, faith...smile)
I plan to share from time to time and add in a few tips & how I'm seeing the Lord guiding us through this...
TIPS and Lifeline-
- take a friend or family member with you to your appointments when you can....because believe me mental fog & fatigue that result in problems with memory and concentration.... believe me it is real!
- You decide if, how and when you would like to tell people about your ongoing situation...this is something I can have control of.
- Take a journal with you to every test & doctor appointment - that is where family and friends come in handy!
- LulaRoe clothing helped me so much!!! soft, no buttons, no zippers...can even sleep in them if needed.
The LORDS Hand-
One of the first things Dan and I did after getting the news, was to pray to Heavenly Father for help. One sentence that will always stand out in my mind from Dan's prayer.
"Heavenly Father, please take charge, let us do what thou would have us do, guide us to do what thou wants us to do, not the Doctors or our own personal thoughts, thou art in charge."
Here are a few less personal ways He has already shown His Hand.
First off...He was in charge before we even knew it. This year alone I had appointments with my personal OB and family doctors...nothing showed up. (CRAZY) But I had an impression to give Stanford a call to see if they could help with the pain I was having. Glad I did...they have helped move things so quickly!
Second- The top Breast surgeon, top oncologist, and Radiation team ...all mentioned that how they were impressed to take the case (both have waiting lists) and the Breast surgeon and oncologist were planning to be gone....but stayed around to talk to me....and have cancelled their travel plans. LORDS HAND
This is my journey...come what may, Happy Day.
Oh, and just because I needed to do/have something fun to do.
I will soon be known as the Banner Bandit! (if they catch me =) (with the help of my dear friend Sandi!) I plan to tape or pin a cute banner to every room that I sit in for more than 5 minutes. (those medical rooms are so sad!)
Sorry this post was so long...the next one will not be...I hope.
Oh and by the way...had my first radiation therapy today....and Happy Day....so far no throwing up! ( this will go on for two weeks, wish me luck!)
Happy Day- Prayers welcome.
