Empty Nest- I admit it....I struggle at times. Don't get me wrong....I love my empty nest and who I share it with...we have a great time.....but....there is always that Mom in me that wants to know the...what, when, how.... of their children's life ...first.
Really, to let go I guess you have to deal with not being needed as much. Like that first time you drop your child off at collage and they are in a hurry to see you go...Ouch!
The trick I think is to not take it personally....because really isn't that what Mom's want? Their kids to be strong and independent? (still hurts though}
and maybe in a small way having to have control in my opinion is really about hiding your own insecurity. (I admit it I have insecurities}
One of the hardest things I've ever done/doing is to let go..... (there is such a fine line...that I'm always trying to not cross over)
Then my crazy insecurities kick in....but so and so children call her four or five times a day and text her frequently as well.
(they even share things with their Mom before they tell their spouse}
Then I remember Danny saying...Teresa...Have you notice how great our kids are?!
and this counsel given us from this talk by President Kimball'
"Unfortunately, some parents have a hard time letting their children grow up and become independent. President Kimball said: “Well meaning relatives have broken up many a home. Numerous divorces are attributable to the interference of parents who thought they were only protecting their loved children.” He also observed that sometimes parents “will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children.” Wise parents will honor their children’s adulthood, foster their independence, and respect their marital boundaries, thereby giving their children the opportunity to establish strong marriages."
Obviously I don't have all the answers or even some of them... I just don't want to be "the problem" of my children not growing and being the best adult they can be....I know that my children at times will need to be lonely a little, scared a little ....if they are to reach out and grow. (standing to the side...hardest thing ever.}
(I can't even image how Heavenly Father and Mother do it!)
I guess what I'm trying to get across..(in my own crazy way} is that it is hard....to not be needed like you use to be....and then trying to figure out how you can be of help with out being too much help or not enough help.
When they were little....see a problem fix that problem....now it is different....now it is more about counsel and let them fix it. (crazy hard...think teaching them to ride their first bike only without training wheels x 100....sometimes standing to the side is the hardest thing ever.}
I know in the blog world filled with stories of young families and their "stories" (and Happy Day for that...I love reading their stories} it may seem what I write here seems old and out of place. (maybe because I am old and out of place =}
But this is who I am and what I do and things I worry and think about.
Just need to keep telling myself...you are needed in a different way now....now go and have fun!